So here's the thing.... I suck at writing. In high school I thought that if I took AP english classes I would magically enhance my writing, but nope I actually think I somehow got worse. However, I am good at thinking. I have all my thoughts in order and even know what I am trying to say. The bad thing is, I just can't adequately express them in words or on paper. So I am sorry if you ever feel like you have no idea what I am writing about. Chances are I don't either.
I never thought I would be the one to create a blog. I have a few good friends of mine that are awesome at articulating their words and have really powerful and convicting blogs. Since I am not a good writer, it never really made sense to me to create a blog. My preferred method of expressing myself is through song, but that seems a little silly to post.
As I have prayed over this blog and what the Lord wants to use it for, I also pray that he can help me dictate my thoughts clearly. I am really hoping to see the Holy Spirit convey himself through my writing and hopefully make me a better writer :). There have been a few topics that the Lord has laid on my heart and I felt that it would be stupid not to share them. So over this next season of my life, I want to share with you (whoever reads this) whatever joy, pain, sadness, beauty, and any other emotion the Lord reveals to me.
If you are wondering about the title of the blog, "help me to never seek a crown" it comes from a song I learned in church this morning called "Oh Lord, You're Beautiful." This closing lyric at the end really touched my heart and made me really think about the purpose of our time on Earth. The lyric reads "And when I am doing well, help me to never seek a crown, for my reward is giving glory to you." I don't know if that convicts anyone, but even just writing those words gave me chills. I don't know how many times I have tried to take credit for something that wasn't even mine to take credit for in the first place. As a Christian, my hope for my non-Christian friends is that they can see Christ's love through me. But that's just the thing.... I am trying to take credit for the "good job" I am doing instead of recognizing that it is through the Holy Spirit that I am able to KNOW God's love, but also to SHOW God's love. None of that has to do with me. To think that I have any part in showing my friend to Christ is discounting the power of the Holy Spirit. So as I reflect on those lyrics that impacted my heart, I desire to not seek the crown. It's not about me. It's about HIM.
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