In a recent conversation with Ryan, he asked me what my main struggle was. Although there are a lot of options to choose from, the one that came to my head first is comparison. I have never really given this issue much thought and usually pushed it away from my mind until I heard a sermon by Matt Chandler. He talked about how women usually struggle with two things: Comparison and Perfectionism.
My comparison is fueled by one thing. It's the thing I am most addicted to. I tell myself that I can never live without it. That thing? Social Media. As I have given more thought about how I wanted to write this post, I wanted to clearly outline the ways that people, girls especially, fall prey to social media and how it inhibits our thinking in a very negative way.
I want to point out Instagram in particular. There is a very complex process that most of us go through when deciding whether or not to post a picture. Here are the steps:
1) When was the last time I posted a picture? Is it okay to post another one?
2) I have to wait until "prime time" to post it or I won't get as many likes.
3) Do I look good? Everyone else in the picture may look horrible, but as long as I look okay then I can post it.
4) Is this picture good enough or do I need to add a filter? Should I add a teeth whitening effect? What about fixing some fly away hairs? Or even better! Let me add 3 filters on top of one another so it really brings out my eyes.
5) Time to pick the perfect caption. Something clever but not TOO cheesy. Should I go for the heartfelt or a joke? What about a song lyric? Hmmmm... Maybe I will look up quotes on "friendship" or "love" and see if I find something good.
6) To add a location or not? That is the question....
7) Last but not least, ask at least 5 friends whether or not they approve so I know that at least someone likes it.
Does anyone see a problem with this method? The only way I was able to detail this method fully is because I DO IT TOO! I know that I am not the only one who thinks about these things when posting a picture. Why do we do it? Somewhere in the back of our minds, we are seeking for approval. We desire the likes because somehow in our mind it makes us popular. It makes us worth something. It makes us cool. But you know what? These temporary likes aren't what determines our worth. We automatically get disheveled when we don't get as many likes as we usually do. "Why wasn't this picture as popular?" "Was I not funny enough?" "Am I not pretty enough?" These are ALL thoughts that can pop into our minds when we subject ourselves to Instagram especially. We become so consumed with the approval of others that we forget to stop and consider that others approval does not really matter.
Maybe we don't post pictures often. Maybe we just like to scroll through our newsfeed and look at our friends pictures. I personally struggle with comparing my life to the pictures of my friends lives. Of course they aren't going to post a picture with no makeup and zit cream! It's silly to compare yourselves to your friends on Instagram when all you are seeing is well thought out perfection. Your friends might look like they are having the time of their lives with all the new friends they met, but where are the pictures of them fighting over a boy? The friendship that your friends have with their new friends, shouldn't be compared with the friends you are trying to make.
NOT EVERYTHING IS AS PERFECT AS IT SEEMS
I cannot think of a more true statement. Relationships aren't perfect. Friendships aren't perfect. LIVES aren't perfect. Instead of thinking "I wish I had their life," work on your own! If you truly stop comparing yourself to others and start looking at what God sees in YOU, it will help you develop a confidence in knowing that you were fearfully and wonderfully made.
God gave us all different gifts and talents so that we may glorify Him with everything we do. Our lives and journeys shouldn't be compared to those around us. No one has the "perfect life." So as a way to help me stop comparing myself to others, I am going to take a social media hiatus. That means for 1 week, I will delete Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and Twitter off my phone. The amount of time I spend on social media a day is probably equivalent to an hour and half that I could spend doing something more productive. If anyone feels like they are struggling with the same thing, I urge you to join me in this challenge! I would love to have accountability partners through this one week. I will be starting on Wednesday, and ending on the following Wednesday. Email me at brisasander@gmail.com if you would like to join me or if you have any questions or comments. As always, thanks for reading :)
